I have always been one of those people who when things get to much or I am feeling overwhelmed I want to run away on vacation or hide in my cave, meaning not wanting to get out of bed. I experienced a lot of stressful situations in my life and got to the point of complete burnout and chronic fatigue. After taking many programs with Swamiji and living at the ashram for 6 months my being underwent a complete overhaul. Before I got there I felt so tired and beaten down from life I just wanted a rest and a long one at that. Little did I know that the path of enlightenment or self realization includes a process or self purification which is tapasya (tapasya is a means of purification. It’s a process of elimination which cleanses our mental and emotional bodies of deep rooted engrams or samskaras.) and for each of us this word can mean different things. For some it may come in the form of yoga, sitting in meditation, pranayama, or even depression. When our mind says we need a break, yes, we need a break. Our mind needs to be broken. We need a break in the root. This is the only way a particular habit or engram can be destroyed is by the psychic root. Just by trying to do it on the conscious level is not enough.
After undergoing a steady diet of meditation and tapasya I have never felt better in my life. I have more energy, enthusiasm and am experiencing higher levels of productivity.
Living enlightenment can be doing things we don’t want. If we can receive our suffering as prasadam or the nectar as poison (what we think is as poison) then we will be supplied the energy we need for the rest of the journey. I know it’s tempting to get off at the nearest rest stop and take a break that would be so much easier. But if we can just continue on our journey despite of what our mind says eventually it will disappear.